Velveeta Drops Cheese-Scented Nail Polish, Cheese-Infused Martini Kit

By Sean Norris

You might think that, after more than a century in business, Velveeta would be content with its status as America's foremost purveyor of processed cheese product. You'd be wrong. The Kraft-Heinz brand is looking to evolve beyond the grocery aisle, and it's using promotional products to do it.

In early June, Velveeta partnered with Nails Inc., a London-based cosmetics brand, to launch a pair of branded products. One is a pack of nail stickers. The other is "Pinkies Out Polish," a cheese-scented nail polish two-pack that comes in Velveeta's red and gold brand colors.

What's up mother forkers--We're introducing the world to Velveeta Pinkies Out Polish, a red and yellow cheese-scented polish that's bold, over-the-top, and made to stand out with your smallest finger out. That's #LaDolceVelveeta.https://t.co/qG7U4jv9A1 pic.twitter.com/ItHJrcM6wf

— VELVEETA (@CheesyVelveeta) June 7, 2022

The nail polish is not made with actual Velveeta. But don't worry, the brand's second promotional effort makes up for it.

In July, Velveeta teamed up with BLT Restaurant Group for a special "Veltini" available at select restaurants. The Veltini is, as you've probably guessed, a martini made with Velveeta-infused vodka. According to People, it also includes olive brine and vermouth, and comes garnished with both Velveeta-stuffed olives and Velveeta jumbo shells and cheese.

This sounds very gross, but as we've seen elsewhere, infusing alcohol with weird ingredients is a good way to grab headlines and promote your brand. (Indeed, along with many news stories across the internet, the Velveeta martini has been featured on the Today Show.)

If you're not lucky (???) enough to try one at a restaurant, you can make one at home with Velveeta's Veltini Kit available from Goldbelly. The kit includes various ingredients needed for the martini, as well various barware items: a gold-plated cocktail shaker, cocktail picks, two plastic martini glasses and a pair of Velveeta-branded coasters.

Screenshot of Goldbelly item listing. Credit: Velveeta / Goldbelly

Evidently, a lot of people are into this sort of thing, because the kits are currently sold out.

"As we look to summer, one of life's greatest pleasures is enjoying summer sips during golden hour," said Kelsey Rice, senior brand communications manager for Velveeta, according to People. "We wanted to find a way to elevate this experience for our fans even further, by bringing the rich, creamy goodness of Velveeta to a martini in a unique and unexpected way for the ultimate outrageous pleasure."

What will Velveeta do next? Scratch-and-sniff T-shirts that smell like shells and cheese? Velveeta-infused bottled water? We'll just have to wait and see. Until then, let's just appreciate that the brand is putting promotional products front and center.