Who Really Cares? How to Move on From Well-Intentioned Failures
Too often, we don’t ask for what we want. It’s almost as though we’re too embarrassed or too shy to actually ask.
Amazingly, that’s exactly what’s happening. Most people’s insecurities are directly tied to their identities. Regrettably, that reality isn’t going to help you land your next order or help you find your soulmate. And that’s because when we start to believe that we’re limited to the person that works for X company or that our identity is tied to a particular skill or skill set, we erase the prospect of possibility. A manufactured identity is a narrow viewpoint, whereas the knowledge of our true essence is expansive.
It might take you a lifetime to dismantle the image you have of yourself—or, sadly, it may never happen. But for those of you bold enough to give it a try, there is nothing but unbridled opportunity on the other side of our limiting self-image. And one of the ways to begin to tap into that potential is by understanding what we want and then asking the right questions that’ll deliver the goods.
Here’s a great starting point: Ask yourself, “Who cares?”
It turns out that most people don’t really care what you think, don’t really care about what you want, and don’t give your insecurities any thought whatsoever. And this is because we are all the centers of our unique realities. There are 7-plus billion centers on this planet. But rather than seeing that as exasperating or selfish, it’s actually incredibly freeing. It means that you care way more about yourself than anyone else ever will.
That being the case, what if you manufactured the belief that every day is a clean slate? What if you began the day believing that the person who said “no” to your business proposition yesterday has moved on to something they care more about, today? Wouldn’t it kind of be like "Groundhog Day," meaning that you could start again, every morning, content in the knowledge that your well-intentioned mistakes and failures were largely forgotten?
What would you do today if you had a clean slate?
When you were young, do you remember asking your parents for a ride to the mall, for a snack, or for that toy that you simply had to have? When they said “no,” you were undaunted by the rejection. Your pride wasn’t injured. It was just a “no.” So you tried again the next day, with a belief that the answer might be different. And oftentimes it was different. Depending on the mood, the circumstance, or your pitch, you actually got what you wanted. And it’s because you persevered. It’s because you asked for what you want. Maybe that’s a tactic that’ll work for you, today.
As we get older, the fear of judgment or criticism is the entity that protects our built-up identities. Instead of penetrating this manufactured veneer, our insecurities continue to add layers to it, preventing us from being our true selves. What you’re most afraid of is often the key to what you want most. For example, if I’m terrified of someone rejecting my business proposal, what I might want most is to secure that business or benefit from the finances that will come along with a successful outcome. If I’m terrified of ill health, what I want most is to be healthy. If finding a partner is debilitating, maybe that’s what I crave the most.
When you realize that nobody dwells on your well-intentioned failures, it gives you permission to try again, this time with your added experience. So what if your prospect says “no.” Just keep trying and keep asking. In the end, I will tell you definitively that the most successful people don’t give a darn how many people say no. They simply keep on asking. Going after what you want and penetrating your fears is the path to your true self. And the more of your true self you discover, the richer your life will be in every way.
Thanks for engaging. Let’s keep making beautiful noise together!
Alex Morin is energy. He's the owner of Promonoise (an educational company), Almost Enlightened (a podcast and coaching business), Working Writers Co. (a writing/coaching business) and other ventures in the wellness/self-help realm. His mission is to learn, grow and share, all in the spirit of love and awareness. Alex moves his energy/self through music, sports, cooking, writing and traveling. He's married, has three children and cherishes the journey of life.