I am a Sales Snob

Last night I went looking at cars. Though I had already decided on a VW Jetta TDI (diesel), I promised my Dad I'd look at the Hyundai line (he's a Consumer Reports freak, I mean, follower). I walked in to the dealership and immediately went into the rope-a-dope defensive position as the wolves circled the fresh meat. One rep asked if he could help. I asked him which of these vehicles would most comfortably house my 6'6" frame. "This one!" offered a different rep and I sauntered that way, with the rep close behind.

The minute I sat down and pulled my legs in, the feature dumping began: "You know, this car goes 0-60 in 5.7 seconds. It's only a 4 cylinder, but it has 190 horsepower. The model you are in is the SE. It has a sunroof and blah blah as well as a navigation blah blah. Plus, blah blah blah and blah blah blah."

As a sales trainer, I am cursed. I simply cannot engage in a sales conversation without critiquing while listening. Imagine being a food critic and walking into a restaurant. You immediately see everything they ought to be doing, but aren't. The food is good but not great. The waiter said this but he should have said that. You are tough to please. That's how I feel when I am on the customer end of a selling situation. This feature-dumping bonehead had no chance. Unfortunately for him, I had shut off the filter between my brain and my mouth before walking in and he got it with both barrels.

I hopped out of the car and said, "How do you know any of those things matter to me? You have not asked one question yet."

You'd have thought I'd thrown cold water in his face.